When a loved one is living with dementia, the way we communicate becomes incredibly important. Words carry weight, and certain conversations, while well-meaning, can cause confusion, frustration, or even distress.
Communication challenges are common when speaking to a loved one with dementia. However, avoiding potentially distressing conversations, using active listening techniques, and implementing positive communication strategies can foster connection and understanding.
What Is Dementia?
Dementia is a group of conditions characterized by cognitive decline that impacts memory, reasoning, communication, and behavior. While each person experiences dementia differently, it’s common to experience communication and language challenges as the condition progresses. By understanding these challenges, caregivers and family members can provide better emotional support and uphold their loved ones dignity.
Communication Challenges with Dementia
One of the hallmark symptoms of dementia is difficulty processing and recalling information, meaning interactions with others may not flow like they once did, which can be frustrating. Signs of difficulty in communicating can include:
- Repeating questions or statements
- Inability to understand abstract phrases
- Memory lapses that lead to confusion about people, places, or events
These symptoms can affect the confidence and emotional state of someone living with dementia, making it crucial to create a compassionate and patient atmosphere for communication.
Conversations to Avoid with Someone Who Has Dementia
Certain phrases or topics can trigger confusion, frustration, or emotional distress in a loved one with dementia. Here are examples of what to avoid and how to shift toward gentler alternatives.
Conversations that Involve Certain Types of Questions
Avoid “Don’t you remember?” type questions because they can make someone with dementia feel shame or stress about their memory loss. Consider the following alternative: “It’s okay if you don’t remember. I can tell you more about it.”
Correcting or Debating their Memories
Avoid correcting or debating a loved one’s version of reality as it might differ, and correcting them can cause unnecessary conflict. An alternative way to respond is to enter their world. If they remember a family trip differently, go along with their story to keep them at ease.
Conversations with Strong Statements
Statements such as “I already told you this!” can make someone feel like a burden or inferior. An alternative approach can include reassuring them with patience and repetition, “Here’s what’s happening again—it’s all good.”
Conversations About Dementia Symptoms
Conversations that negatively mention dementia or symptoms, such as, “Your memory isn’t what it used to be,” can harm their self-esteem. An alternative can include focusing the conversation on strengths instead, such as pointing out their contribution to a memory or a shared experience.
Discussing Stressful Topics in Detail
Avoid topics like finances, health diagnoses, or family conflicts, as these can be overwhelming. An alternative would be to limit unnecessary details and focus on simple, positive facts, e.g., “Everything’s being taken care of, so there’s no need to worry.” Being mindful and choosing affirming language can turn potential sources of stress into moments of comfort and connection.
Strategies for Positive Communication
Maintaining a supportive atmosphere starts with small changes in how we talk, phrase things, and engage during conversations. Here are tips to foster better talks with someone with dementia:
- Use short, simple sentences to make it easier for them to follow and retain said information.
- Ask one question at a time rather than layering multiple topics or questions at once.
- Maintain eye contact, use their name to keep their attention, and show that you’re fully engaged.
- Be patient and allow them time to process what you said.
- Use visual cues or gestures to reinforce your message. For example, when asking if they’re ready to drink tea, hold a cup as you speak.
The Power of Active Listening
When you practice active listening, you create an environment where your loved one feels respected and valued. It helps you take in their words and be fully present in the moment. Here are ways you can practice and improve active listening:
- Stay focused on what they’re saying, even if it’s repetitive or difficult to follow.
- Look for emotional cues in their tone or facial expressions to address their feelings.
- Maintain eye contact, nod, and provide verbal affirmations like “I understand” or “That’s interesting” to show you’re engaged.
- Reflect their emotions by saying things like, “That sounds exciting!” or “I can see why you feel like that.”
Comprehensive Dementia Care
Healthy, compassionate communication is essential when connecting with someone who has dementia. You can create meaningful moments of connection by avoiding potentially distressing topics, being intentional when you speak, and practicing active listening.
If you’re seeking additional support for a loved one with dementia, contact The Enclave of Newell Creek. Our memory care services offer specialized care, amenities, and wellness programs catered to individual needs.
